Tag: salvation

A violation of a trust is hazardous to any relationship, especially a marriage covenant relationship. Recently, we talked about sealing your marriage. If you don’t do so, it opens the door to violations of your wife’s trust on countless occasions, leaving a shell of a true marriage relationship as God sees it. These violations can continue to grow until the communication gap between spouses is so wide that there is little or no meaningful dialog except for addressing practical daily needs. When there is a lack of trust and communication breaks down, the true, intimate feelings, fears, and needs of either spouse can easily become fodder for the other spouse with his or her friends or a counselor of some sort. When this happens, it is more than likely that both of them will retreat even more to protect themselves from further wounds.

Men, your office demands that you guide your wife and family to true intimacy with the Lord, so that they can be prepared to glorify His name and do His work.  That ability only comes from intimacy with Him yourself. If you find intimacy difficult to attain, there is a good possibility that the violations of trust in your past have been carried into your marriage and will not allow you to trust anyone, even God. If that is the case, only the Lord can show you how deep the scars are. Only He can heal you so that you have the ability to really trust again and be trustworthy yourself.

While you’re dealing with the Lord about your own brokenness, a good place to start is to stop violating your wife’s trust at this very moment. Stop every negative thought about her. Stop jesting to others about even her smallest quirk. Stop communicating her failures with your buddies. Never again minimize her with your mouth or in your mind. Don’t criticize her so you can feel better about yourself. Determine that every communication that comes out of your mouth about her will be positive and uplifting. Learn to speak of her value to others as the Lord shows you how He sees her.  Make it your project in life to be trustworthy of her slightest wound or deepest fear, so she can learn to whole-heartedly trust you. Although it’s only a beginning of the kind of covenant God has established for the two of you, it’s a start. Watch the life that springs from the change in your perspective by the grace of God. Are you encouraged to try?

Let’s talk more!

Jim Corbett

How many of your friends know some of your wife’s faults? How many times have the words from your mouth been less than high praise for the partner God has given you? How many of your “prayer needs” to others are nothing more than spiritual gossip and an opportunity to minimize her and show your spirituality?

Well, men, if any of those questions or something like them pertains to you, you have some repenting to do. You have completely missed the concept and astounding, powerful impact that sealing your marriage has.

God has ordained a marriage to allow two people to grow and prosper in Christ through His power. He has joined two very imperfect people together so that they can provide a safe place for each other to fail over and over again, and then be healed over and over again. In His eyes, they have covenanted to live their lives for the best interests of the other.

People today think nothing of violating the trust of their husband or wife at the drop of a hat, missing the fact that each violation minimizes the ability of the spouse to safely share his or her personal details. Each instance of gossip, “counsel” with a friend, or even a small verbal jab shows the spouse that communication with his or her mate is a potential danger of the exposure of his or her deepest needs. That danger closes the door to any form of deep healing.

God’s way is to have those He has joined together go to each other for their healing. He intends that every marriage should be sealed and off limits to everyone else unless both partners agree to have some form of counsel, and then only to a point they both agree on. Other than that, they are to go to God for the needs of the other. Once trust is established again, true God-impacted healing can take place. Maybe it’s time to rethink things.

Let’s talk more!

Jim Corbett

Men, do you remember those cute little things that you loved when you first met your wife that now drive you nuts? Remember when you were so much in love that she could do nothing wrong? Remember when all your conversations about her were glittering with accolades and glowing with wondrous praises? Has anything changed?

If things have become complacent in your marriage, you now quietly put up with those quirks, and you have few glorious praises about your wife before others because the glow of her wealth has worn off, she is not wrong - you are. If you minimize her in any way because she has flaws in your eyes, you don’t understand your office as a husband.

Here is your privilege, men! You are the only one in this world chosen by God to observe the imperfections of your wife. You are the only one in this world whom He trusts to prayerfully hold those imperfections before Him, so that she might become more like Jesus. He trusts you to never share them with others. God observes your wife as righteous and on her way to holiness. He observes her through the blood of Jesus. He is focused more on who she will become rather than on what she is not.

Satan loves it when married couples pick each other apart by bringing up each other’s flaws. Unwise couples fall for his plan, and minimize the impact their marriage could have in the world. Wise men and women understand that the limitations they have the privilege of seeing in their spouse are wonderful opportunities to hold that person before the Lord for his or her best interest. It is one of the highest privileges given in marriage. How are you doing with that?

Let’s talk more!

Jim Corbett

As a husband, your position is one of service, never dominance. If you really understand Ephesians 5, you will see that you are to lay down your life for your wife in the same way that Jesus laid down His life for you. He gave Himself up for you. In God’s eyes, loving your wife as Christ loved the church is the only reason you are to leave your father and mother and be married.

With that in mind, what does your wife need?  I don’t mean what does she want, but what does she need to help her become everything she is supposed to be in Christ? What kind of fertile soil are you providing for her to prosper spiritually?

Your marriage relationship is to be an example of the relationship Christ has with the church. The world is supposed to see Jesus through how they perceive your interaction with your wife. How is that working for you? How do your actions toward your wife - caring for her spiritual life, placing her before yourself, communication to others about her - reflect the character of Jesus in front of others?

In general, men, the family is out of order in this world, mostly because men don’t comprehend the impact of their actions toward their wives. You as a man need to understand the spiritual implications of your husband to wife interactions. You need to know that interaction not only affects your whole family, it affects how those who are watching you see Jesus.  Your continual awareness of your wife’s needs is one of God’s ways of you fulfilling your offices of husband and father in His eyes. He considers it good stuff! Do you?

Let’s talk more!

Jim Corbett

This relationship with God is all about love. While involved in the tangles of the jungle of this world, we so often forget why we serve God. Tasks and demands in this life tend to become priorities. Obligations and responsibilities of marriage and fatherhood sometimes become overwhelming.  All of this can cloud the main reason we serve God. That cloud can make us ineffective in leading others to Him.

Let’s remember so that we can tell others. Jesus chose to die because of His great love. God made that covenant with us because of His great love.  We can love others because we have the confidence that we are loved with an unquenchable, reliable love. God’s love will never let us go or forsake us. He will always be there for us no matter how many times we violate His love or our commitment to Him.

If you lead those around you in love as a husband and father, you will see incredible results with your efforts to show them Jesus. If you love others even with a modicum of the love that has been given to you, many will be unable to resist the One Who has placed that love in you.  It costs you nothing; give it a shot!

Let’s talk more!

Jim Corbett