Tag: men

For some of us macho guys, saying “I’m sorry” is very difficult, especially if our parents never told us they were sorry for anything. Let’s face it; we all make mistakes. Sometimes those mistakes occur through our ignorance, our upbringing, or our sin.

As a husband and father, your words and actions have a very big impact on your family. Your undoneness may be revealed every time you open your mouth or with every reaction you exhibit regarding the challenges you encounter involving your wife or children. Sometimes that inability to deal with things properly will cause separation. Maybe your children have separated from you in their hearts or your marriage may be far less than you ever thought it would be.

Usually in these situations, we have a tendency to replace love for our children with discipline, or take on hard work instead of communicating with our wives. The hope that things will get better is a whole lot easier than dealing directly with the issues that have caused the situation we’re in. It’s also much easier to blame others for the things they’ve done or for their imperfections, rather than taking responsibility for the heart separation ourselves.

Holy Spirit-led, heartfelt repentance to those, who have separated themselves from you in their hearts, can go a long way toward healing. Honest repentance for your mistakes and completely forgiving others for their mistakes is God’s way of making relationships whole. Your release of any undoneness and all offenses, which have caused the situation you are in, brings a whole new dynamic into play.

In essence, our relationship with Jesus began and remains whole with saying “I’m sorry,” whenever we offend Him. We need His mercy each time we come to Him. Our job is to extend that same mercy to those who have offended us – real or perceived, especially family members. Your expression of sorrow for the times you may have offended others gives them the freedom to heal from your offenses. It opens the doors of communication and allows weapons of self- defense or survival instinct to be laid down. “I’m sorry” - two little words that could change the direction of your family when said for the good of others. Will you say them?

Let’s talk more!

Jim Corbett

Do you know that your wife and your children have a right to trust you to keep quiet about their failings? Do you know that no one outside of your marriage or your family has a right to know about the areas the Lord is working on in either one of them? As a spiritual covering, your job is to create an atmosphere of love and trust in your marriage and family, so that everyone can be free to fail and grow without the eyes of others scrutinizing their every move or judging them “in Christian love.”

Often the body of Christ goes around expressing “prayer needs” concerning members of their family, exposing their sins for the whole church to discover. Is it any wonder that the struggling child or the unsaved wife has no desire to enter into that atmosphere? Whether you know it or not, whether you intend to or not, you are minimizing their worth in the eyes of others.

While the Lord is working out the refinements necessary to help all members of your family to become Christ-like, you are called upon to give them love and the freedom to fail within the privacy of your family. You’re to build a safety zone for them. In your conversations with them and with others, you’re to maximize opportunities to affirm their worth, pray for them, and never minimize them - especially to others. Give the Lord the freedom to heal them. Make sure that others understand the qualities they have and the wealth they’ve been given by God, no matter what state of growth they may be in. They are valuable in His eyes; your job is to fully understand that value and express it to others when you refer to them. Will you do that?

Let’s talk more!

Jim Corbett

This life continually offers us choices. Many of those choices are slam dunks because the options available are simple. Right is always right, and wrong is always wrong. There are many times, however, when choices are not simple. Sometimes weighing all the factors doesn’t lead to making choices clear.

Motivated by love, Jesus made a choice to leave heaven and come to earth. In the garden, He made the choice to do His Father’s will. It was also a choice motivated by love. His whole time on this earth was motivated by the love He had for His Father and for us. We are to walk as He walked if we call ourselves His followers.

As a husband and father, you have been placed in the position of being responsible before God for those you steward. You are presented with many choices that determine the outcome in situations that impact the lives of others. It’s a responsibility of your God-given office and it’s important to Him.

Some choices are easy. When choices that require more than simple decisions are before you, you can never go wrong if you choose love when you make them. You’re to lay down your life as Jesus laid down His life. You’re to live for the best interests of others. If the choice you face is doing something either for your best interest or the best interests of others, follow the life decisions of Jesus. Choose love! Make the choice that is in the best interests of the others involved rather than yours. Jesus did it; so should you at every opportunity. Abba likes that!

Let’s talk more!

Jim Corbett

Do your children know of their intrinsic value? I’m not talking about telling them how well they’re performing. I’m talking about how valuable they are to God and to you. If you are a father who is performance-oriented and you place your expectations on your children, they may grow up to be successful because of the striving attitude you’ve taught them; but they’ll never be able to rest in the worth they have simply because they’re breathing.

God has called everyone into being. His desire was for all of your children to be born, and He calls them good. As a father, you are to carry on His attitude toward them. You’re commanded to build in them, by the power of the Holy Spirit, a knowledge of His love and acceptance of them. You’re to show them they are accepted just as they are and not for what they do. It begins with teaching them how much you appreciate them as His representatives.

If you are not in the habit of affirming your children and have set a course where they need your approval to maintain their worth, they’re on the road to a life of needing that approval even after you’re gone. If they don’t have it, they will need to find it from some other source. Many lives are spent seeking approval of some kind because you, as a father, haven’t established God’s kind of approval in them through your words and actions toward them.

Begin now! Seek the Lord as to how you can be used to change the course of the direction of the lives of your children. Ask Him to show you the wounds you may have already caused and how He wants to use you to heal them. Commit to creating an atmosphere of affirming their worth with your words and actions, so they are free to be who they are. Give them the freedom to fail without your disapproval. Give them the freedom to live their lives, not yours. Show them Jesus through your attitude toward them. You will be amazed at how beautiful they really are.

Let’s talk more!

Jim Corbett

When was the last time you sat down and simply told your wife of her value? I don’t mean the “I love you, Honey.” I’m talking about looking her in the eyes and telling her how valuable she is not only in God’s eyes, but in yours, too.

In the Word, you, as a husband, are directed to lay your life down for your wife in the same way Jesus laid His life down for you. He died for you; you are told to die to all your selfishness and personal interests in regard to your wife and your marriage. Affirming her is one way to do that.

Men, take this challenge. Wait on the Lord for His timing. In the proper time - when your heart believes it - make a special effort to tell your wife of her intrinsic value and how important she really is. Let her know you consider her a gift, and that you’re thankful God put you together. Start there and take it wherever God leads. Do it regularly and mean it.

Next, find opportunities throughout your life to affirm your wife in front of your children. Stay away from the amorous stuff, and focus on the habit of letting them see your Christ-like attitude toward her when they are around - even if she’s not there. Whether you know it or not, they’re watching and learning from you. Teach them the wonder of expressing value by your words and your actions. It will go a long way in allowing them to see the character of Christ up close and personal.

Let’s talk more!

Jim Corbett